An Unsuccessful Breakin
by SakuraBlossomQuiet1
Summary: Eliot told them to stay away from that law firm.  But could Hardison ever listen?  Warning:  contains spanking of an adult.  Don't read it if it's not your thing.


Hey guys! This may be a little bit odd. I just wanted this to exist and it didn't, so I wrote it. I haven't seen anything like it, so I don't really know what the reaction will be.

Warning: This is a spank!fic. There will be spanking of an adult, so if you don't want t read that, don't read my story. Or at least don't complain.

Disclaimer: I don't own Leverage or Angel. I wish...

Hardison gaped as every alarm in the enormous law firm building started screaming and guards flooded into the room full of antiquities that he currently occupied. No. Just no. He had treated that alarm system right. He had been so careful as he took down every defense. He might as well have taken the thing out for dinner he had been so polite. It couldn't betray him now. He glanced down at his screen, it wasn't betraying him. There wasn't anything wrong with the computers, so how did the alarm go off? A second system? How?

He wasn't given much more time to think as the guards reached him and yanked him off the floor by his arm. They marched him out the door, and it was only when they started steering him down the back staircase rather than out through the elevator that he realized how much trouble he was in. These guys weren't going to turn him in to the police. They were just going to take him out back and have him shot. Shit... He really should have listened to Eliot.

A couple of months ago the team had gotten a client asking them to take down a law firm called Wolfram and Hart. The story had been compelling and the firm had certainly seemed evil enough, but then Eliot had taken Nate aside, and suddenly they weren't taking the case. In fact, Eliot had told everyone that very day to stay away from the firm, and Nate had backed him up!

Well, Hardison didn't like to be kept in the dark. If Eliot wouldn't tell him what was so important about this place, then he could do the research and find out for himself. Of course, when he did find out, he found out that the law firm had millions of dollars in priceless and questionably obtained antiquities; absolutely irresistible right?

But now he was going to die, and it looked like Eliot had been right to warn them off this place. Too bad he was realizing this a bit too late...

There was someone coming up the staircase now. Overpriced suit, stupid hair, he had to be a lawyer. Maybe he was showing up late and he didn't want the boss to know? Then he looked up and Hardison's heart nearly leapt with an odd combination of relief and fear. Sure, Eliot would stop these guys from killing him, but then Eliot would kill him himself. This was bad.

But Eliot didn't look mad, just a little bit surprised and confused. What was going on?

"Hey, I can take him from here guys. We don't need the entire security team to deal with one intruder." When had Eliot become such a good actor?

"But, Mr. McDonald! You shouldn't have to -"

"Hey, you guys just head on back, I'll give you a break today. Don't worry about it! You deserve to take it easy now and then." The guards actually seemed kind of intimidated by Eliot. And where had that alias come from? He hadn't made any lawyer named McDonald.

"Alright. If you really want to do it, we don't mind letting you do our jobs for us." The guards shoved Hardison at Eliot and walked away laughing. Eliot caught him and resumed walking him down the stairs. Once they were out of earshot Hardison thought it would be a good idea to figure out what was going on.

"Eliot? Man I'm really sorry about this. I know you said not to but, you know what? You never told me why! I can not be held responsible for my actions if no one explains things to me – and what are you doing here anyway?"

"I'm not Eliot."

"What the hell? Of course you're Eliot! Dude, no one can hear us! Do you _see _anyone else on these stairs?"

"I'm not Eliot. He's my little brother." Hardison's mouth dropped open in shock. Sure, Eliot didn't talk much, but to have a brother right here in L.A. and not talk about it? The guy was even more close-mouthed than Hardison had thought.

"Then how do you know who I am? I've never met you. Or do you just go around saving strangers instead of working?"

"You think I don't look into how my brother's doing? I probably know more about you than the government does Alec Hardison."

"Man that's creepy..." By this point, they had reached the bottom of the stairs. They continued on until they reached a pick-up truck that Hardison had difficulty lining up with Eliot's brother's sleek black suit. "Man, what's your name anyway? I've never even heard of you."

"Lindsey McDonald. Eliot took our aunt's last name." They got into the truck, and Lindsey started it up. "So. You and Eliot are on a team of thieves with Sophie Devereaux, Parker, and Nate Ford, right?" Hardison nodded. This guy was scary. How the hell did he know all this stuff? "Didn't Eliot tell you guys to stay away from Wolfram and Hart?" Hardison winced. Was he going to get tattled on?

"Yeah... He never told us why though."

"Do you get it now? They'll kill you without blinking. I'm the only reason you got out of there alive today." There was a long and awkward silence before, "Give me your cell phone."

"Don't you have your own?"

"Give me your cell phone." A hand was held out towards him in a clear gesture of demand. Hardison reluctantly handed his smartphone over. Lindsey scrolled briefly through the contacts before choosing one and calling it, holding the phone up to his ear. Hardison could hear an annoyed grumble from the other end and he thought his heart was going to stop from sheer horror.

"Hey little bro! I think I found something of yours at work, do you mind stopping by my place to pick it up?" Hardison couldn't hear what Eliot was saying on the other end of the line, but he knew it couldn't be good for him.

"Alright, great. See you in about twenty! Bye." He hung up the phone and handed it back to Hardison "He's coming to pick you up in about twenty minutes." During the phone conversation they had been driving, and they had now pulled up at a swanky apartment building. Lindsey got out of the car, but Hardison was frozen in his seat. This might be the last time he sat comfortably for a long time, and he wished he could remember it more fondly, but he was just so terrified. Lindsey came around the car and opened his door for him. Hardison stayed frozen. Lindsey reached across him and unbuckled the seatbelt before grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the car and into the building. They got into an elevator, and Lindsey pressed the very top button. Hardison couldn't even find it in himself to make a smart comment about Penthouse.

They left the safety of the elevator all too soon, and Lindsey let them into a fancy apartment. The man had a beautiful computer, but Hardison couldn't drag himself out of his fear long enough to truly marvel at it. Lindsey steered him over towards the kitchen and offered him a glass of water.

"So, what exactly were you trying to accomplish today?"

"Antiquities. I thought I could steal some and make some money."

"And thumb your nose at Eliot."

"That too."

"Aw. This is just too adorable. My brother, Mr. I-don't-like-working-with-people, has gone and gotten himself a little brother of his own." Hardison didn't really know what to make of this statement. After all, Eliot was the one who was constantly bugging him to come camping with him, and forcing vegetables down his throat. But he really didn't like the idea of being the little brother in this circumstance. Eliot had threatened to spank him before, when he was acting childishly, and he'd always been afraid enough that it'd actually happen that he stopped. This would be the test he guessed. If Eliot didn't do it now, he'd be pretty much safe from now on and he'd know Eliot was just bluffing. But what if he did?

"He will."

"huh?"

"What you're thinking, that's what he's going to do. God knows we got enough spankings when we where kids."

"But I'm not a kid! And how'd you know I was thinking about that."

"You should really practice your acting if you want to make it as a professional thief." Just then there was a knock at the door. Hardison flinched, and Lindsey smirked knowingly before going to answer it. Hardison could hear the two brothers conversing quietly across the room from him, and he strained to hear it.

"Thanks for getting him out. Do you mind if I borrow your apartment for a while?"

"No problem. I needed groceries anyway. I'll be back in about an hour. Lock the door when you leave."

"Sure thing. Thanks." Hardison heard the sound of the door closing, and he looked frantically for a place to hide. "Hardison! What the hell were you thinking?" So much for that idea. Still, maybe he could get out of this. Maybe there wasn't a "this" to get out of. It would be pretty weird for Eliot to spank him after all. Eliot wouldn't even do the bro-hug. Why would he spank him?

"Man, I don't know! Maybe I was thinking that they had some great stuff I wanted to steal? That's what thieves do! Or had you forgotten?" Eliot scowled, then marched across the apartment towards him. Hardison flinched, but Eliot just grabbed his arm and started dragging him across the room towards the sofa. Hardison didn't want to think about what could involve the sofa, so he struggled. But, of course, this was Eliot we were talking about. Hardison could never hope to get away.

Eliot plopped down on the sofa, and then gave Hardison's arm a sharp tug, causing him to fall face first over Eliot's lap. It was then that Hardison panicked. He started flailing and squirming madly, desperately trying to escape this ridiculously embarrassing situation. But Eliot just held firm, and suddenly, a loud smack was heard. Hardison stilled in shock as the pain of the smack soaked into his butt. But Eliot wasn't done yet. After the first initial one, the smacks began to rain down on Hardison's butt with a vengeance. When the shock of what was happening wore off and the pain started to set in Hardison began to struggle again. But Eliot merely caught the hand he threw back to defend his butt and ignored his kicking legs. When the lecture started, Hardison thought he might die of embarrassment.

"I'm here to protect you guys! Why do you think I would tell you not to go somewhere if it weren't because it wasn't safe to go there. Wolfram and Hart has security systems you can't even imagine that you can trip without even knowing you did it. Parker couldn't get in there, but at least she wasn't dumb enough to try. You could have been killed today if Lindsey hadn't seen you. Now I would really like to know: What (smack) Were (Smack) You (Smack) Thinking (Smack)?"

"Ow ow ow ow ow! I hate being bossed around! What did you think I was gonna do when you say 'don't go here. But I won't tell you why'?"

"You did all this to show me up? How stupid are you?"

"OW! Would you just quit it?"

"I need to know this won't happen again!"

"It won't! It won't! Never again!" Eliot delivered five more, hard swats before letting up and allowing Hardison off his lap.

"Man, that hurt!" Hardison was rubbing his butt petulantly and glaring at Eliot.

"You want it to really hurt?" Hardison dropped the glare and edged back a few paces.

"Nah, we're good!" A long awkward silence "bro-hug?"

"Yeah, fine." And despite the ache in his butt, Hardison was glad to have a brother again.

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